Ten Months

Likes: vegetables, drinking out of her sippy cup, watching her puppies, being chased by mommy and daddy, reading books, pulling books off the bookshelf, being told 'no' so that she can shake her head, smile and then do what she's not supposed to.

Does not like: getting into the car seat, having things taken away from her, when mommy won't pick her up upon demand, sleeping with a blanket, waking up

Things that suprise mommy and daddy: How quickly she learns, the random nuances that she has genetically inherited from us (who knew certain things could even be passed down!?!?!?). That a 10 month old can have so many preferences, and that having a kid can simultaneously be the best and hardest thing on your marriage.

Lessons I did not realize I would learn

Being a first time mother, I am 100% aware there are things that I am naive about. Every day I'm introduced to something else that I had no idea about in regards to parenting and motherhood. Even though I knew I didn't know everything there was to being a mother, I still wanted to 'figure it out on my own'.

I just recently discovered that is an idiotic way to think.

Prior to this recent revelation, I almost always questioned friends and family members when they told me things about children. Little antedots, or lessons...advice, etc. I would be prideful and think "that won't happen to us" or "I'm not like that" or my favorite "My kid won't do THAT"

SO.Stupid.

I will now be quiet and listen intently anytime one of these mothers speak. Time and time again, I have been caught with my foot in my mouth as I am sitting in the moment that one of these wise women have told me I would be in... and I think to myself 'Yup, this is what they were talking about... '
Mother's would tell me that babies don't need to be entertained when they are newborns. There are no lessons to teach them or games to play. Crazy Kristi thought: Horse Radish! I insisted on having toys infront of Elise's face anytime her eyes were open. I can't just let her LAY there. I mean good grief,there is so much to teach her! Oh, what a silly mom I am. Once she actually became active and attentative I realized quickly that there was no way she was paying attention to me before. Heck, She was probably scared to death of me for always being in her face! I'm sure she was thinking: Just let me figure out how to eat and breath mom! Can we cool it on the lesson over colors and shapes?!?! Sheesh!

I also thought everyone was exagerating on the amount of diapers that babies went through. Why would the entire world (including renowned authors) lie about such a fact? I have no idea, but I just couldn't fathom going through 15 diapers a day! Lesson learned.

I was told by multiple mother friends that you have to "train" your child to sleep. (If you aren't one of the lucky few who have a kid that shoots out of the womb already knowing how to sleep 8 hours thru the night) I spent the first 9 months of my child's life convincing myself that our kid was different. Altough she was a TERRIBLE sleeper, I just knew that one day she would grow out of it and just casually crawl herself into her bedroom, ask to be put in her crib and fall soundly asleep while humming the tunes of a beautiful church hymn. Ok that is a little far-fetched, but I just KNEW that I wouldn't have to make my daughter cry to get her to see she could sleep on her own. I just KNEW that she would out grow her need to be patted down every 45 minutes. And once again, I was wrong. Should have listened to all those seasoned mothers and sleep trained Elise 5 months ago. Would have saved alot of sanity and tears.Both for the baby AND the parents! My mom and dad actually had to do it for us, because we couldn't handle to hear her cry (seperate blog post on this upcoming). Regardless of who did it, the fact was that it actually had to be done. And now we are all happier and healthier for it.

The sleep thing was one of the last real good lessons I recieved. The lesson: Listen to your fellow mothers!!!(or the ones who have done it before). Save yourself the grief and just follow their advice. They've already scouted out the territory for you. For once in your life as a mom, take the easy road!

Birthday Party Time!

Recently I was engulfed in planning Elise's first birthday party. Mid-way thru my 11th pin on her "birthday board" on pinterest, I recalled a moment from my past. 

Allow me to set the scene: 7 months ago, I sat and listened as one of my co-workers described the details of her daughter's upcoming birthday party. It was going to be a BIG Deal. The mom spent almost every lunch break picking up items for the party,spent her nights crafting signs and had a big photo shoot for the girl. I though to myself, hmmm....For Elise's first birthday I bet we just do something small at the house with a few family members- no decorations or anything. It's not THAT big of a deal, I mean the kid won't even remember the party. 

Fast forward to the present: I'm pumped up about preparing for this event. It's still going to be at our house and won't involve any circus animals, but I GET.IT. I get why she was so excited and spent so much time preparing for the party. Because you LOVE your kids and celebrating their life is your reason for breathing! Plus, it's a great time to just acknowledge the fact that you and your spouse kept another human being alive and well for the last year! Now that's worth a party!

Guilty as charged

New mommy guilt is a real thing. And it seems to be only increasing as Elise grows older. Thus, I guess it should just be called 'mommy guilt' no need to add the new. 

I've prayed out loud for God's help more in the last couple of weeks than I have as far back as I can remember. Things aren't stressful (not more than one would anticipate) its just there are ALOT of things to second guess yourself on when you are in charge of another human being. And when your life is so dramatically different. Also, I think the fact that you love someone soooooooo much, your heart is a little more tender and more open to self-critism. Whatever the reason, guilt is a surprising addition to the already large array of emotions thrown at you in motherhood.  Ok, just for laughs, lets go over my recent favorites: I feel guilty for being a working mother, I feel guilty when I think she is too hot or cold, I feel guilty that I make her wear bows everyday and she probably is annoyed by them, I feel guilty when I look at my phone when she is around, I feel guilty when she scratches herself bc her finger nails need to be cut, I feel guilty when all I want is a nap and she wants to play with me. I feel guilty when the TV is on, I feel guilty that I don't do more creative activities with her like those moms on Pinterest do...

Wow. 

Didn't think I could come up with that many of the top of my head, did ya? 

All this time I thought parents were up all night worrying, hmmmm maybe they just are up feeling guilty about all their parenting mistakes??

Or both???

Ahhhh, the joys of parenting